As an editor, a common pitfall I see in many YA manuscripts is a writer who doesn’t give their readers—or their teenage protagonist—enough credit. Teenagers are often far more aware, worldly, and capable than most adults assume. Skilled YA authors see teenagers as the competent and complex people that they are and reflect the lived experiences of young people in their writing.
A jumbled pile of black-and-white magnetic poetry tiles.
Long ago, an elementary school teacher gave me the greatest gift a teacher can give—the gift of seeing something previously taken for granted in a new and different light.
Every week, our teacher gave us a sentence and told us to rewrite it every way we could think of. We’d fill up a page of lined notebook paper with sentences, reversing the order of words, changing phrases into different kinds of clauses, and finding longer or shorter ways to say the same thing over and over again. I loved this exercise. I loved the power I felt moving words around like puzzle pieces while still saying the same thing. It was only later, as a writer wrestling with my own words, that I saw how each of those iterations created a subtle shift in meaning and feeling, and that some ways were better for my intention than others.
It excites me to find a change that gives me the exact meaning and feeling I want in a sentence. As an editor, I want to help writers gain a better understanding of the effect of sentence-level changes. I want them to see all the options available.
Have you ever been asked to “tighten up” your writing, quicken or slow the pace, use a less passive voice, or remove words to fit a defined word count? Do you want a phrase or word to stand out? Want the reader to slow down and focus on the details? Want a fast-paced, tense action scene? Sentence-level changes can help you do all that and more.
For example, consider the following sentence:
He pauses and clears his throat. “You’re not ever leaving here,” he says, with menace in his voice. He looks out the window.
Is this the best line for the job? It depends.
Are all the actions necessary to the meaning? You could strip out actions to give more focus to the dialogue.
“You’re not ever leaving here,” he says, with menace in his voice.
The dialogue line is menacing already. Try removing that phrase.
“You’re not ever leaving here,” he says.
This is a strong statement, but the strongest part of it, the word “ever,” is buried in the middle. The end of a sentence is a powerful position. You can move “ever” to the end of the dialogue to give the word more impact.
“You’re not leaving here, ever,” he says.
The dialogue tag is still the last thing the reader reads. You can move the dialogue tag to the front of the sentence to keep the focus on “ever.”
He says, “You’re not leaving here, ever.”
You could change the punctuation, putting “ever” all by itself in the most powerful position in the line.
He says, “You’re not leaving here. Ever.”
You may be able to remove the dialogue tag altogether.
“You’re not leaving here. Ever.”
Now you have several options to choose from. Which one best suits your intention?
When we write a first draft, we get the words out any way we can. But they don’t have to stay that way. Sentence-level changes give us options for choosing exactly what we want to say and exactly how we want to say it.
Christine Pinto is a Developmental Editor with Allegory Editing. As a developmental editor, Christine draws on her experience as a fiction writer and writing instructor. She holds a Certificate in Writing for Children and a Certificate in Editing from the University of Washington. Over a decade of experience teaching writing to children and adults, she has gained a deep understanding of the craft of writing and strong communication skills for sharing that knowledge with writers. Christine’s own journey as a writer informs her editing work with deep empathy for writers preparing a manuscript for publication. Her interests include historical and contemporary fiction, memoir, romance, fantasy, non-fiction, technical, business writing and writing for children. You can reach Christine at christine@allegoryediting.com.
If you’ve ever pondered a hyphen situation, inserting and deleting that pesky hyphen to see “what looks right,” you’re not alone. Incorrectly hyphenating is one of the most common proofreading (proof reading?) and copy editing (copyediting?) errors we writers make.
One might say it’s a lifelong problem.
Or is it life-long? Life long?
Our best answer—as with many word-related challenges we face—is the dictionary. At Allegory Editing, we use Merriam-Webster, though there are other options out there. No matter what dictionary you use, consistency is key. Still, it’s good to be on the lookout (not look-out, according to Merriam-Webster) for compound words. At times we might breeze past them, so add this to your list of proofreading (yes, it’s one word, not two) tasks.
It’s important to know the three basic options for compound words. Sometimes they are one word (the adjective lifelong); other times they’re two words (the noun copy editor); and we also see hyphenated words (the adjective off-limits).
I recently came upon a questionable compound word and asked a couple of Allegory Editing team members what they thought. We decided we weren’t sure about Merriam-Webster’s answer:
The author complained of a stomachache, so her agent suggested a weeklong vacation to Hawaii.
The author complained of a stomach ache, so her agent suggested a week-long vacation to Hawaii.
The one-word version of stomachache is correct, according to the dictionary. We thought it looked funny. After some further digging, we discovered both ways are considered acceptable. At that point, we made the choice that felt right for the material. Hyphens can be a tough call because the reason for hyphenating most compound words is, in fact, ease of reading.
By the way, the dictionary also says weeklong is correct.
What’s your gut feeling about the word stomachache?
Amy Cecil Holm is Allegory Editing’s resident Copy Editor and Proofreader. As a copy editor and proofreader, Amy draws upon decades of teaching college English to help authors polish their prose. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a master’s degree in creative writing and has worked as a journalist, technical writer, and educator. Over her nearly thirty-year career, Amy has taught courses in English composition, literature, creative writing, journalistic writing, business writing, and developmental reading, among others. She has a keen understanding of grammar, punctuation, and diction and uses her careful attention to detail to help prepare manuscripts for submission and publication. You can contact Amy at amy@allegoryediting.com.
In person pitching can be scary, but it doesn't have to be. Agents want you to be their next client. If they weren't actively looking for new clients, they wouldn't be accepting pitches. Make their job easier and bring your stress level down at the same time by knowing exactly what to include (and not include) in your pitch. Read on for the dos and don’ts of pitching agents from a publishing-industry expert.
Hey Writers!
Any of you who’ve attended our workshops, mini-sessions, or Ask an Editor events know there’s nothing Elena, Christine, Amy, and I love to do more than talk to writers about writing, and we’re always looking for new ways to connect with you all.
That’s why I’m beyond thrilled to introduce you to Between the Lines, a new blog for writers from the team at Allegory Editing. One (or more) of us will pop on here (most) Fridays to share our thoughts on the craft and business of writing. We’ll include tips and tricks, musings and inspiration, and whatever else we come up with that we think will benefit you, our beloved writers.
To those of you who are stumbling upon this blog and have no idea who we are, I’m also thrilled to introduce you to Allegory Editing. We’re a boutique agency of editors, educators, and publishing industry experts dedicated to guiding writers along every step of their journey.
From workshops designed to help you hone your craft, to individualized coaching sessions, to personally-tailored developmental editing services, to skilled copy editing and proofreading, our goal is to support you as you write the best manuscript possible. Poke around on our website if you want to know more about the services we offer, or drop me a line and we’ll chat.
My hope is that this blog will serve as a resource for writers looking to find inspiration, deepen their craft, and learn about maneuvering the publishing industry. We have a slate of posts on the docket, but above all, we want this to be a space that’s beneficial to the writers we serve. If there’s a topic you’d like to hear more about from us, well . . . drop me a line about that, too.
In the meantime . . .
Happy writing!
Andrea Karin Nelson
Allegory Editing | Founder & Executive Editor
